The Return of Patches
by Fireshadow246
Summary: Patches is back and he's out for revenge. Follow Gai as he tries to survive one of the weirdest days of his life. Companion piece to "Mishaps and Such". Pretty much crack.


AN: Because Patches had to make a come back and all my friends loved the idea of an evil squirrel in Konoha who mostly picks on Gai. ^^ It must be the green spandex. O.o If you read Mishaps and Such, you'll know where Patches came from, if not, well, I don't think it matters, but just go back and read it for laughs, alright? This is crack that was written during my math class when my brain is shut down, which is why it'll most likely suck, but it had to be done. This story is dedicated to my good friend, Gai. (Not the one in this story, another guy we just call Gai.) Now stop wasting time up here! The good stuff is right under the disclaimer. ^^

Disclaimer: Patches is mine! All mine! But the entire Naruto world is not. *sigh*

* * *

One day Gai was walking back to his house after another long day of "youthful" training. He was passing by the park when a squirrel jumped down from a near-by tree and landed in front of him. He stopped and looked at it, recognizing it as the angry squirrel from Kakashi's apartment. He began to slowly back away, the squirrel still staring at him. He tried to avoid eye contact. When he was a good few steps away, the squirrel started to take a step forward for every step he took backwards. He stopped, but the squirrel kept coming.

What would he do? Could he fight it? No, it would make him look absolutely ridiculous. (AN: Really? THAT makes you look ridiculous?) How would it look if he ran from it? Not very good, he guessed.

Suddenly, the squirrel launched itself at Gai's face. Gai let out a very manly squeal and tried to get the squirrel off his face, but that thing had a grip of steel. A mother and her young son were walking by, just looking at him and not doing anything to try to help. Crazy ninja.

"Mommy, look." The boy said, pointing.

"Don't look at it honey, let's keep walking." She said, leading her son away from the scene.

Meanwhile, Gai got the squirrel off his face and it went flying. Just his luck, it was a flying squirrel. It glided in mid-air, heading towards Gai again.

He could not hurt such a youthful animal, so Gai decided to do the one thing he could. He ran.

* * *

Kakashi grumbled and rolled over in his bed. Who the hell dared disturb his sleep on his first day back from a long chain of never-ending missions? He growled and got up, putting his mask on as he made his way to the door.

He answered the door and found a ragged-looking Gai standing there with a haunted look in his eyes.

"Gai? Hey. You okay?" Kakashi snapped his fingers in front of Gai's face. That seemed to snap him out of it. "Gai?"

"You have to help me." He said. "It's after me…" He added, in a haunted voice.

"What is? You're not making any sense."

"The… Squirrel…" He whispered.

"Squirrel? Gai, wha-"

"It's coming!" Gai yelled and ran off.

Kakashi looked down on the place where Gai had previously stood and sure enough, there was a squirrel there.

"Patches… Have you been terrorizing people again?"

Patches nodded his head.

"What am I going to do with you?" He tsked, shaking his head. "I told you I wanted to watch next time you made a fool out of Gai."

Patches chattered disappointedly.

"You seemed to have gone a little overboard, though. What did you do to him?"

Patches chattered as if he were explaining himself.

Kakashi sighed. "Oh well. We'll let him rest for now. I hear he's got a mission tomorrow. I'll give you some acorns and then it's off to bed with you." Patches agreed and headed to the kitchen. "Iruka'll love to hear this one." Kakashi mused.

* * *

AN II: Well, that was it. Just to let you all know, I am planning on writing another story starring Patches. Most likely telling the story of why he hates Gai-sensei so much. Anyway, Kakashi's bit at the end wasn't really supposed to be there, but I couldn't help myself. It had to be done to explain some things. Anyway, yes, Kakashi is now keeping Patches as a pet incase some of you were confused about that little detail. So yeah. Review and check out my poll. I'm really gonna need more people to vote on that thing because so far it's only been what, 4 people?


End file.
